Baby Le Xin

Sunday 24 June 2012

Unconditional Love ---> 无私的爱

Here's a photo of my mother in law (MIL) taking care of Le Xin when she was sick in April. Yes, my MIL came over just to take care of Le Xin, sponging her with wet towel till her temperature came down. As I was all panicky and hubby wasn't around, I was really glad that my mother in law was there to "rescue" me.  At the clinic, Le Xin even vomitted on her and all her clothes and bag were soaked with Le Xin's vomit but the first thing she cared about was how Le Xin felt at that moment so this was indeed UNCONDITIONAL LOVE 无私的爱  and it really calls for my respect and admiration towards my MIL.

Yes this post is dedicated to my MIL! She will never read this because she doesn't know how to go online but I just wish to express my gratitude towards her! Please bear with my lengthy post :p

I am very thankful that my MIL was able to help me to take care of Le Xin ever since I returned to work when Le Xin was 3 months old. Back then, I wasn't sure if this was the best option. I had many worries and doubts. What happens if my MIL wants to go out but she can't wouldn't that be considered as losing her freedom? What happens if she finds that Le Xin is too difficult to take care? What happens if the amount we give her isn't sufficient? What happens if Le Xin cries and she can't get proper sleep at night? What happens if we have different mindset/opinions about how we want to raise Le Xin? All these "WHAT HAPPENS" questions kept surfacing in my mind and I really can't push my thoughts aside.

 As much as my family members and friends advised me to ask my mother in law to take care of Le Xin because they find this is the best option since Le Xin is a young infant and she will surely be very safe and healthy under the care of my MIL and they kept knocking the FACT into my brain that nobody is better than her own Ah Ma (which I completely agree), I felt super GUILTY but finally agreed to it! Seriously, at the back of mind, she has already raised her two children and two grandchildren (her daughter's children) why bother her again to take care of another one.

Now that I look back, I totally have no regret about this decision. My friends and family often tells me when Le Xin was still a little baby that my MIL was doing such a great job because Le Xin is so Chubby!

True right? Just look at her fatty thighs yeah I know all babies have baby fats but it's true Le Xin remained like this for a long long time! 

With all the help that my MIL has rendered me so far, I was really able to focus on my career. Now that I chose to be a stay home mum (for the moment) and my MIL has stopped taking care of Le Xin, she has decided to go back to work in fact wef 25th of June and I suddenly feel kind of LOST!

How strange but I guess it is just natural for me to feel this way anyway I am afterall mere human. Am I selfish? I  really don't know maybe I am but I know that I am happy for her that she has found a job but I am sad that I can't ask her to help me to take care of Le Xin anymore should I need to run errands..... Did I grow to be too dependent on her? Nonetheless, I remember my friend Mamta, once told me "Nothing is better than grandparents' love, sometimes they will love your child more than yourself" I wasn't able to fully understand that statement when she first told me that but now it's two hands up and I got to agree with her completely!

 I wish to share one experience that I had with my MIL. I remember last year, I conducted a training workshop for the staff in the previous child care centre that I worked in. I needed to get up very early that day and the workshop was held in the church which was near my mother in law's place, so I proposed to my MIL if I could stay over at her place so that I could just walk over. 

At 3am, Le Xin woke up crying for milk, obviously I was woken up by her crying too and so I went out to attend to her, but my MIL kept asking me to go back to sleep and she continued to take care of her, feeding her milk and etc... I could tell she was super sleepy but after feeding her, she gently patted her for quite long till she burped!  Frankly speaking, I don't even think I have such patience when I fed my own daughter. Then I recalled what Mamta told me which I thought was really true!

 She is the best MIL, constantly thinking about us (Le Xin, Daddy Scott and me), always buying food/things for us and if you ask her for help, she will always try her best to help you. At least so far, she only rejected me when she really can't help me :)

All that I can say to myself now is that, Mother thank you so much for all that you have done for us! Yes for our family and the love you provided Le Xin. Even though, you are not taking care of Le Xin anymore, we will always remember what you did for us! Thank you! and Le Xin is going to miss you for sure :( I used to reflect about this in the bus, when I travel to Etonhouse for work, the reason why I could work in peace was because I know that I have someone super reliable to take care of my darling girl, what else can I ask for)

For those of you that are reading my post, did you ever face this as well? Finding the right person to take care of your child? If your mother or MIL is taking care of your child/children now, do always learn to be appreciative and grateful for what she is doing, it's a noble act even if you think it is nothing big because you are paying her to do it! As we all know by now that MONEY REALLY CANT BUY TRUE LOVE! Such things don't come by easily, I have some friends in their forties or fifties and they often tell me I will not be taking care of my grandchildren in future! Wah... take care of my children not enough is it? Still expect me to take care of their children? I want to travel and enjoy myself when I retire! See that's their mindset , they haven't even experience the joy of being a grandma and they were very sure that they would be reluctant to take care of their grandchildren. So now you know, how lucky you are if you have your parents or parents in law to count on........

Cherish those who love you for they are the ones who taught you how to love!

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